When big sis was about 2.5, she gave us just a taste of what we have in store for the next 15.5 years or so (we are off the hook at 18, right?). I was scared at the time, and rightly so, it turns out. Visibly pregnant with little bro, she wanted nothing more to do with me. I tried everything I could think of to stay in her good graces. Nothing hurts more than being shunned by a toddler.

One night I made a huge spaghetti dinner and we actually sat down at the dinner table to eat facing each other instead of the tv. I was quite proud of all the food groups present and fully expected to be loved and appreciated for my hard work. Big sis had impeccable manners already, so we were not surprised when she turned to T. and said, “Good dinner daddy!” T. said thank you honey, but mommy made dinner, you should thank her.” Little sis held his gaze and said again, “Great dinner daddy!”

T. pulled out his stern voice and very slowly said, “Big sister, mommy made dinner. Not me. Please tell mommy that you like your dinner.”

She finally looked my way and I relaxed just a little.

Then the stinkpot looked over at the dog and said with the sweetest voice imaginable, “Nice dinner you made, Parker!”

What? The child is surely confused.

Could she possibly be capable of this kind of manipulation before learning to tie her own shoes?

Oh yes. I’ve paid dearly for daring to bring another child into this world. Little brother gets mad love from her and daddy can do no wrong. Only now that she’s 4 will she give me the time of day, and that’s only because I let her win at Candyland.